my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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