I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
