my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
