Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
