It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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