Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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