Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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