so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
