she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
