Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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