She's JV to your varsity
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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