Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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