btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
