I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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