If i come over, it means nothing
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
