Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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