NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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