she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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