At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
