I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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