When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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