I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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