Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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