That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
