You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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