He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
