It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
