I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
