If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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