she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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