We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
