It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
