I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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