She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Someone came in the potted fern
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize