I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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