If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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