Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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