this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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