and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
