i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
