TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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