I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
