If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
