i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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