dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
