They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
