Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
