Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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