I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
