I'm so fucking centered right now
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
