You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
