he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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