You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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