I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
