The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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