dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
