I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
