you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Text me some of your sweat
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