im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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