I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
