NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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