I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
