She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
