Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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