You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
